Monday, 19 January 2009

• 4 Steps To Mending A Broken Heart

  Do you ever wonder why it hurts so much when your love is lost?
  
  The art of romance, when you fall deep into love is to give your heart without fear.  When it breaks, you become lost with only pieces that remain.  It’s a journey of rediscovery and reassembly, as your hands bleed with each piece.
  
  To mend a broken heart is a process of healing, while emotional wounds are akin to physical.  You must rid the poisons that linger, instead of using a temporary fix.  Some say it’s best to keep busy, taking your mind away from sorrow, but at the end of the evening, you still have to face the hurt.  It’s about standing tall, even when the world is crumbling down before your eyes.
  
  

  Step One
  
  Cut all forms of communication.  It gives us a sense of connection and getting over him requires its removal.
  
  Rid yourself from physical memories, items that were significant to the relationship.
  
  You have to take drastic measures because in getting over someone, you have to become ruthless with determination.  Make it an instinct by doing what’s necessary without involving your mind with “consequences.”
  
  This is about disowning him.  If the he calls, hang up.  If he calls again, do it again.  No matter how many times he calls, hang up, or even better, block him.  Block all known e-mail addresses as well.  If he e-mails you from another account, delete it immediately, emptying the trash altogether.  If he e-mails you again, delete it again and so on.  This also goes for online communities.  If he writes you through snail mail, burn it without opening.
  
  You have to take action without giving yourself the chance to think.
  
  Step Two
  
  Think logically.  Instead of listening to your heart, listen to your mind.  Find the reasons to get over him and make the choice to believe.  Write them down.
  
  Deny yourself the hope that lingers with the logical reasons you’ve found and listed.  Use them to refocus your hopes for a better tomorrow.
  
  Stop trying.  Choose.  Although we can only try our best, choices are almost set in stone.  When we make one, there is a lot less room for backing out.
  
  Time helps nothing.  It only provides opportunity to prioritize priorities.  What we choose to do with it makes all the difference.
  
  Step Three
  
  If you’re unable to eat or sleep, acknowledge the difference between inability and unwillingness.  Force yourself to take care of basic needs.
  
  Take food as you would medication.  If you’re eating too much, portion your meals and get rid of junk.  If you can’t sleep, close your eyes.  If you’re not concentrating, think later.
  
  Don’t give yourself the luxury of self-pity.
  
  Step Four
  
  Let yourself cry.  Understand it’s simply another way to express feelings and emotions that overflow.  Do anything you can to express yourself, through tears, writing, music, etc., anything available to you.
  
  Remember that crying is not a sign of weakness.  Letting your heart out is a crucial step because again, keeping busy is nothing more than a temporary fix.  Why not hurt once and for all and be done with it, instead of hurting continuously?
  
  Talk to friends and family.  Allow them to be your support system.  There is no shame in asking for help.  You would do the same for them.
  
  Provide yourself with the love he won’t return.  However much it hurts, you will always remain your own best friend.  It’s your responsibility to take initiative.
  

  
  With getting over someone, you have to be real with yourself.  It’s the freedom to continue without focusing on the past.  We can neither erase it nor avoid the inevitable sorrow.  It’s a part of life and we must endure no matter how impossible it seems.
  
  You’re not to avoid the hurt.  You’re to walk through it to become a stronger person.
  
  Never let the pain exist in vain.  That someone is the reason for your hurt, but it still doesn’t take away your responsibility.  Keep in mind that you’re worth every effort.  Deal with it, not because you should or that you can, but because you have to.
  
  Finding closure is most important in mending a broken heart.  Realize that even if you’re seemingly denied from it, closure comes from within.  When you free yourself from the boundaries of relying on external sources, then and only then will you become more than the person you already are.  You will understand what it means to truly believe in yourself, acknowledging that you’re capable.
  
  It’s hard, but possibility will never fail to outweigh the impossible.  It’s about doing whatever it takes, being resourceful with everything you have; the strength and courage conjured from within.  Love yourself more because you always have that choice.
  

  Reader, how did you mend your broken heart?

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