As of late, I’ve had the craziest dreams, and when I say crazy, trust me. They’re
crazy!I dreamt of having my butt probed by a shady doctor. He found a clear bag of chocolate finger cookies that had been lurking for ten years, the cause for my constipation.
It was an exciting moment because for one, I could finally poo smoothly again and secondly, it would give me the opportunity to post a picture online to gross out all the pretty girls! Unfortunately, before I could take it, Dad mixed the cookies together with my beloved jar of pretzels. I was
pissed.I dreamt that I developed lopsided man-boobs and an elongated left nipple. It was lactating and drippy, while I played with it like a guitar.
I dreamt of an immortal chubby woman who was part demon. She was trapped within an opera house for millennia, in a dressing room upstairs. It was torture as the temperature was consistently 57 °C. Once released, her flesh was beyond succulent, while her skin resembled that of crispy pork rind. I hungered for her…
I dreamt of a fat Mexican man with a thick moustache. He was sweaty and horny and also had the swine flu. He found me extremely attractive and tried to rape me.
I also dreamt of a blonde trucker who resembled that of Jake Busey. He tried forcing me to give him oral sex. While Dad was protecting me, the trucker took his blade and was about to stab him. The cop from across the street blew his head wide open.
Crazy enough? Haha.
Reader, do you have crazy ass dreams? What do you make of mine? Can you translate them for me, even though I doubt anyone in the right mind can?
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Comments (46)
Hang on a sec, do I know u? I mean.,you're not my cousins live in Canada right?!
damn, those are weird.
Crazy.. wth? a skin that resembled a crispy pork rind? o_O Did you sleep hungry or something? haha! It's like you're constipated, hungry, & thinking of ideas to creep us out, your readers & saw a news about swine flu before u went to sleep. -_- crazy ass dream
I serouisly want to get to know you. That is some funny shit. You had to have eaten some real spicey food before bed. Lopside man boobs RA HA HA ....and I snorted! OMG!!!! I can't stop laughing!!!
wow. yeah, those are some crazy dreams. i've had some weird ones too but...damn, those win!
I have crazy ass dreams all the time. But I think some of those totally trump my own.
that IS pretty scary...KIND OF gross too! o_o
my scary dreams involve scary vampires. no, not the edward cullen kind, the scary I LOVE HUMAN BLOOD kind.
Immortal chubby woman who was part demon?
HOW AM I SHOWING UP IN YOUR DREAMS?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!
jk :P
@noree_n - but those are the really dark, mysterious and sexy kind. (the i-love-human-blood kind, btw.)
@razzle_dazzle_lip_gloss - yes, but not when the vampire looks like an 95 year old man! XD
whoa.. those are some crazy dreams.. ahaha.. I would call them nightmares! :)
Butt probing! That reminds me of my dogs butt...his butt is sooo cute! But ummm hmm for the first one maybe you're afraid that there's something withn you that may destroy you and you have to find a way to get rid of it?
uuh..the second one? I guess you like boobs and guitars? lol
thrid...I think you're just really hungry lol
4th...I guess...you're extremely terrified of the swine flu?
5th...umm...shooting away your fears?
I'm no dream analyst...it'd be so cool though because I've been having own set of weird dreams about the same person over and over again...oh well. You're dreams are funny!
This is the weirdest dream I've ever heard of. Butt-probing?! How's your anus doing? lol
Go to Dreammoods.com and try to figure it out? Maybe you're sexually repressing werid desires? I dunno.
I have a few. Although yours do beat mine by a mile ! Uhm, let's see, you're freakin' awesome so that is why you dream crazy :]
dreamt of a fat Mexican man with a thick moustache. He was sweaty and
horny and also had the swine flu. He found me extremely attractive and
tried to rape me.
Fuckin' hilarious! Well, one of my own crazy dreams had the whole theme with beauty and the beast. The only logical reasoning I can give for your dreams is that you ear too much before sleeping
Funny.
Those don't sound that crazy. You're lucky that you can remember them though.
hm. i don't know about an interpretation...but, considering that nearly all of them have some sort of reference to sex or genitals...maybe your body is trying to tell your mind something? ha. i don't know. weird.
my dreams?
i ran away with a famous rock band because i couldn't stand my mother. on the road, they started smoking, shooting, snorting etc all sorts of drugs. so i demanded that either they let ME drive the van--since i was clean--or that they stop taking drugs. ha.
i was a widow, and i found a new guy and fell in love with him. but just when he was kneeling to propose, i discovered that i loved him because he reminded me so much of my previous husband. and that made me decide not to marry him because i didn't want to be with someone who was so similar and still completely different.
i was abandoned by my kids. they were young--between the ages 9 and 2--and they outright CHOSE to be sent away with another family.
and...yeah. just to let you know, i am quite young to have ever been married, and i don't have any kids. if either of those was true, the last two dreams might make more sense. but no. ;)
...that was a long comment...>.<
i'm not touching those....i have no clue. hahhaa =) someone close to me had one w/ cookies once though...a kid kept taking a nibble out of all her precious, finely decorated Christmas cookies. one by one they all were ruined so she couldn't share them with anybody else anymore -- b/c who wants partialy eaten cookies!. so, when she woke up, she came and told me and said, "now, i know i must hide the cookies!" lol.
You long for an alien abduction experience but fear the closest you'll come is a wierd hitch hiking experience.
Crazy! I can't remember most of my dreams but they are awesome!
haha, wow. well. uhm. my crazy dream would be when i was walking home from school with my mom [i was younger, much younger] and she starting jumping up and down like a little kid and fell in a lake and was eaten by an alligator. i just watched and after that jumped onto a giant skunk and we flew away..
haha, i have no idea.
....
I'm sorry. I"m still laughing.