Wednesday, 21 October 2009
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4 Steps To Mending A Broken Heart
Have you ever wondered why it hurts so much when love is lost?
The art of romance is to give your heart without fear. When it breaks, you become lost with only pieces that remain. It’s a journey of rediscovery and reassembly, as your hands bleed with each piece.
To mend a broken heart is a process of healing, while emotional wounds are akin to the physical. Some say it’s best to keep busy, but in the end the hurt remains. Rid the poisons that linger, instead of using a temporary fix. It’s about standing tall, even when the world crumbles before your eyes.Step One
Cut all forms of communication. It gives a sense of connection, and getting over requires its removal.
Rid yourself from physical memories, items that were significant.
Take drastic measures because you have to be ruthless in determination. Make it an instinct by doing what’s necessary without involving your mind with consequences that don’t exist.
This is disownment. If the phone rings, hang up. If again, do the same. No matter how many times, hang up, or even better, block. Block all known e-mail addresses as well. If you receive e-mails from another account, delete them immediately, emptying the trash altogether and so on. This also goes for online communities. If they come through snail mail, burn without opening.
You have to take action without giving yourself the chance to think.
Step Two
Think logically. Instead of listening to your heart, listen to your mind. Find reasons and make the choice to believe them. Write them down.
Deny yourself the hope that lingers with the logical reasons you’ve found and listed. Use them to refocus your hopes.
Stop trying. Choose, because choices are set in stone. There’s a lot less room to back out.
Time helps nothing. It only provides opportunities to prioritize. What we choose to do with it makes all the difference.
Step Three
If you’re unable to eat or sleep, acknowledge the difference between inability and unwillingness. Force yourself to take care of basic needs.
Take food as you would medication. If you’re eating too much, portion meals and get rid of junk. If you can’t sleep, close your eyes. If you’re not concentrating, think later.
Don’t give yourself the luxury of self-pity.
Step Four
Let yourself cry. Understand it’s simply another way to express feelings and emotions that overflow. Do anything possible to express yourself, through tears, writing, music, etc. Remember the importance of faith.
Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. Letting your heart out is a crucial step. Why not hurt once and for all and be done with it, instead of continuously?
Talk to friends and family. Allow them to be your support system. There’s no shame in asking for help.
Provide yourself the unreturned love. However much it hurts, you’ll always remain your own best friend. It’s your responsibility to take the initiative.
With getting over someone, you have to be real. Freedom is to continue without focusing on the past. We can neither erase nor avoid the inevitable sorrow. It’s a part of life. We must endure no matter how impossible it seems. Walk through to become a stronger person.
Never let the pain exist in vain. That someone is the reason for your broken heart, but it still doesn’t take away your responsibility. You’re worth every effort. Deal with it, not because you can or should, but that you have to.
Realize that even if you’re seemingly denied of it, closure comes from within. When you free yourself from the boundaries of relying on external sources, then and only then will you become more. To understand what it means to believe in yourself, acknowledging that you’re capable.
It’s hard, but possibility outweighs the impossible. It’s about doing whatever it takes, being resourceful with everything you have; the strength and courage you conjure. Love yourself more because the choice is always yours.Reader, how did you mend your broken heart?
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Comments (433)
YOU FORGOT MOUNTAIN DEW AND MARSHMALLOW PEEPS.
eating... and .. beating kittens...
"The art of romance is to give your heart without fear. " this is awesome
i eat chocolate
I still haven't figured out how to mend it =/ I try to tell myself over and over that it's over but I don't believe it, and maybe it isn't, who knows..but it's not healthy to live every day thinking about that one day. In the meantime though, I'm trying to focus more on things I need to do - move, go back to college, etc. I dunno, break ups are so weird. At 22 years old this is my first. I enjoyed this advice though.
distractions, friends, new relationships.
Yeah, all of this will really help...including chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate....I'm really going to need this.
Hmm... Step One is interesting since I mended mine through the support of several close friends who helped divert my attention elsewhere. Otherwise, I totally agree with the other 3 steps =)
Through time and good friends.
I'd say it is always a good time to remember what you want out of life. What are your goals and what are your dreams? Have you even given up something for the sake of love?
There is always room to forgive. If not the other person, at least yourself. The hardest part about the end of a relationship is dealing with one's loss of self-worth.
In the end, live. Do not just survive.
Live.
i figured in order to mend it, firstly you have to accept that it's over. if you don't accept that it's over, you won't get anywhere. once you have accepted it, you have to continuosly occupy yourself, such as going out with mates, playing sports, dancing, etc and just get out there and enjoy yourself as much as possible. it's easier said than done, half the time your still thinking of the other, but within an amount of time, you'll slowly get there.. time can be a major *****. eventually, you will get there. when your in the process, you'll feel like you won't ever but you will, you just got to keep your head up high, and think on the positive side, sometimes things fall apart so other things can fall in together =)
Step 1: Embrace the pain until death.
Step 2: Wake up next morning.
indications: repeat until sufficient* healing.
(*if you're lucky; healing is never complete.)
Faith in God and prayer helps greatly. Also consider forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of freedom and allows you to heal from the pain. By totally letting go of that person and putting them in God's hands, allows God to heal you and set you free.
I couldn't do step 1 because we had a child together, and he had raised my other two for five years. You cannot block out your child's father. And nothing hurts more than your baby telling you she wishes her daddy would come home.
For me, time DID help. There was at least a good year I was in a total fog. My oldest had to do more than she should have because I was not functioning properly. I was hurting more than I have ever known and just wanted to no longer exist. I was mad at God, and He is the only One who can give peace. Things dawned on me in slow doses. Had it all came on me at once, I probably would have gone insane. It took time.
I began to only focus on the bad, the same way I used to only focus on the good. I began to realize that the man he really was, I never loved. And the man I loved, never existed. That really helped.
I also kept a journal. I wrote down all my hurt and anger.
I discovered Xanax. (I got an rx for it two years ago and have only taken about seven since. But on really bad days, it really helps.)
To this day I know I am not completely healed yet. I sometimes wonder if I ever will. But my broken heart was not just him leaving me for another woman. That was the very last part of it all, when I needed him most. Every other aspect of my life fell apart, and I discovered that everyone who I ever loved had lied to me, and abandoned me that year. It has been nearly seven years since. Time makes it easier.
@filledwithglory - Amen to that!
I like step 4, but I think I am still on step 1... ^^
I keep myself busy like everyone else, shopping, movies and hitting the gym more often now. Time helps, it's been half an year for me, I feel happier now and I am skinner than before too. ^-^
Uhm. I would say giving up all hope is pretty important.
And then making out with someone else.
Dang, this is extreme, but it works. XD
I just read and write.
I wrote him a letter saying all the things I wanted to say, and attached the last picture that was taken of us. Then I burned it :)
My broken heart mended when he returned. =)
i cried a lot after that
i try to focus more on college and hang out with friends
i'm feeling better now
Step 1:
We promised to stay friends because we've been best friends for so long. We can't just throw years of friendship and years of a relationship away.
So what now?
good post. all things that come with wisdom, common sense and choosing to fight instead of give up.
this is truth.
i did all of these things the last time my heart was broken and it did help.
also, i got a second job a couple weeks later and worked around 70 hours per week. not saying that was the best idea ever, but it gave me something else to focus on, and i met my current boyfriend at the new job. ;)