April 12, 2010
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The Greatest Lie About Women
There’s a misconception in our society that women can’t be understood. It’s rather unfortunate, isn’t it, how when we try to understand them, we’re immediately discouraged and shot down.
“Don’t even try because it’s impossible.”“Even women don’t understand each other.”
“You need to just accept her for who she is.”
While acceptance is one of the strongest aspects in the foundation of love, giving up is never the answer. It still requires a sense of understanding. We can’t just accept without trying because effort counts for everything. We should care enough to want to put ourselves in her shoes without the need for her to continue asking.
But there’s an underlying issue to all of this and it has to do with the deception that women need to remain mysterious because it’s apparently the heart of their charm.
And it makes me sad when I think about their oppression. What kind of liberty is it when they’re constantly bombarded with unachievable images of digitally enhanced “beauty”? It’s true that the media can’t be blamed in isolation when choices define us, but when even little girls are exposed to these cruel expectations on a daily basis, it’s a completely different story.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wearing a little makeup here and there to accentuate beauty, but women have been using it throughout the ages, despite potentially fatal consequences. When they’re using makeup to alter their appearances, this mask becomes a problem. When we add this factor to the aforementioned deception, there’s really no freedom.
The need that women feel to remain a mystery is ridiculous. It’s a lie because they’re just as human and individual as men. They want what we want, except express it in different ways. Men and women have different roles, but the blood that flows within our veins is the same.
Understanding women has nothing to do with reading her mind because doing so comes with time and patience. Even if you might never get it right, you still cared enough to try. It’s to be her best friend, while wanting to listen and talk to her, support, and laugh and cry with her.
Understanding women is about getting to know how she thinks and the subtleties of her feelings and emotions. Only through this effort and willingness are we able to have the privilege of finding who she is as a person. This is why there are three physical extensions in every woman; her eyes, smile, and touch, all of which lead to her heart, and the same reason makeup is unnecessary.
It has nothing to do with being a mystery because it’s a journey of discovering and rediscovering her for everything she is, time and time again.
The heart of her charm and everything that defines her is her heart alone.
The pathway towards her heart is to try and understand her.
The art of loving a woman is to encourage her to take her mask off and reveal the true beauty of her heart.
Reader, do you think it’s impossible to understand women? Why or why not?
Comments (110)
Nice post, Ricky.
ahhh,,,shucks
She wants the love and respect of her man. It's not that hard. A lot of times she will TELL you what she needs. You just have to pay attention. Playing the "women, who can figure them out?" card is a cop out. She wants your time and attention. She wants to be number one - ahead of poker night, ahead of golf day, ahead of your mother. She wants to be number one in your life. If you show her that she comes first -- poker night, bowling night, golf outing, dinner with your mother -- all good things can be yours. When she feels like everything else comes before her in your life, then she will either leave or make your life miserable in an attempt to get and keep your attention.
yes. i dont think we are that hard to understand..its just that people assume we are..amazing post..i loved it.
It is impossible to generalize. That's essentially grouping the mentality of half the population of humanity. On an individualized basis, of course it is possible to understand women. I think you have to deal with it by a case by case basis. There's no true path, although the points you outlined were very sincere, noble and heartwarming. Thank you for the post. Also, I do think that there really isn't a boundary between understanding male and female; it is really individualistic. Of course there are hormonal differences, obvious differences in genitalia, but I think there are enough exceptions on either side that no true conclusion can be made without it applying to the other side as well.
I don't view makeup as a 'mask', or a facade however, not even the excessive use of it. Generally you might think that someone who uses a lot of makeup tends to have a lot to hide; I however view it as having a lot to express. Just because you weren't born with features shouldn't impede you from possessing them. Of course, women are out there to impress other women, but utmost, we are trying to impress ourselves, and makeup should be regarded as artful as fashion and style. Of course style isn't as important as what beats in everyone's chest, but you can't immediately toss it into the background. Most every civilization has its own taste of beauty, and its own regimen to follow it. Does that make us desperate? Just because she wears a lot of makeup, or gets breast implants, doesn't make her any less genuine or true of a person. And aside, women are well aware of the significance the eyes, the smile and the touch; that is precisely why we seek to emphasize those features.
Mystery.. is just synonymous to the art of seduction. Sometimes women do it tactfully, others they do it almost passively and undergo it unawares, maybe even foolish in their tendency. Personally, I don't feel the need to be mysterious or to disclose secrets to anyone, let alone the boyfriend.. but there is something to be relished from the slow and deliberate progression of a relationship instead of an immediate outpouring. Again, an excellent post. I hope all the men who read this follow; that would certainly save a lot of domestic abuse.
No, because we are too complicated. We say one thing and it has a thousand different meanings. We think with our emotions more than anything else. Most women thrive on complexity.
Ok, I absolutely love this post! First I have to ask if you mind if I copy it and put it on my other blog: A Girl's Guide to Personal and Sexual Liberation? I will site you as the source of course! Second, women, like men, are all the same to a certain degree. The nice thing about my chosen field (sex therapy) is that a lot of women make situations more complicated as a way of being able to define and grab hold of something tangible in themselves and their relationships. They need something they can explain and have some sway one way or the other. The reason men have such a hard time understanding women is, not because each one is more unique than another, but because most women change the rules when they know men are trying to untangle the web so to speak (and most women do not realize that they are doing this at all). I know tons of women who have come to me talking about how her guy never knows what she wants. I ask them if they actually ever told him and they reply no, he should be able to figure it out. If a guy is lucky enough to figure it out, he is unaware that this will only work for this one instant. Next time a girl goes through the same thing and a guy does the same action to appease her, she'll get pissed b/c he's repetitious and not willing to try anything new. Another thing I have found is that some women, again usually unintentionally, will use their guy to one up their friends and be seen as a more dominant figure in the group. This also can create some chaos for the guy; especially if he is trying to make his woman happy. The best advice I give to any of my guy friends when trying to figure out his gf is not, give up you'll never figure it out, but watch how she responds in social situations. (This will enable you to see what she deems important in her social circle and how she views herself and you). She how enthused or uninterested her mannerisms are when you do little things for her (This allows you to notice when you are actually doing something that makes her really happy instead of her saying she's happy when she's irritated). Listen in on the points where her voice is slightly raised an octave higher (women do this when they are planning to ask a question related to the subject matter), and always ALWAYS have the number to a good florist, jeweler, and/or her mother (if you have a good relationship with her) b/c they can usually dissolve any stressful situation.
Love this, as always =]
I think you understand women perfectly.
"But there’s an underlying issue to all of this and it has to do with the
deception that women need to remain mysterious because it’s apparently
the heart of her charm" beautifully stated Ricky. Cosmo emphasizes this point in almost every issue.
"It’s true that the media can’t be blamed in isolation when choices
define us, but when even little girls are exposed to these cruel
expectations on a daily basis, it’s a completely different story." You're absolutely right, but remember, it's a lot of our mothers, aunts, and even grandmothers who teach us these ideals. I can't tell you how many little girls have to watch their moms whole day become ruined once they step onto their bathroom scale.
"Men and women have different roles, but the blood that flows within our
hearts is the same." agreed
I think you should read the play "The Glamor Trap" you might even be able to watch it be preformed on youtube. Either way, it basically talks about everything you're writing about.
As for your question, there's no simple way for understanding a woman, just like there's no simple way for understanding a man. It's all based on the personality you're talking to
=) Love your posts
And this is why I feel more understood by you than anyone, even those I see every day. You really do get it, Ricky. This is my favorite thing about you, other than your dashing good looks, of course
<3
Of course it's not impossible to understand women. It's just like you so eloquently stated, it takes effort to understand a woman on an individual basis. Trying to understand women in general is, of course, impossible, as all women are different.
Women are not mysterys to be solved, but mysterys to enjoy...
i love this!!!! xD
No, it's never been hard for me to understand women. Anything they present, I can put my mother, sister, nieces, and all the loved ones past and current, in that situation. Then, it's a done deal; I'm on the side of anyone who is falsely judged or misunderstood.
Love this
love this part.. "Understanding women is about getting to know how she thinks and the subtleties of her feelings and emotions.."
yessssss understanding is key... have you been looking into my brain??
sometimes I will admit to being reluctant to help a guy understand me (or anyone really, any sort of relationship) because I am scared that it gives him more power over me and I need to trust him first... it's step by step, a little understanding, a little trust, a little more understanding, a little more trust...
"The art of loving a woman is to encourage her to take her mask off and reveal the true beauty of her heart" - I think the same applies to loving men too.
"The art of loving a woman is to encourage her to take her mask off and reveal the true beauty of her heart."
i love this line of yours
We want men to listen to us, and see our true beauty. But they can only discover what's inside us..IF, YES!If they try to listen to us and take off their mind set about the media or the society's definition of beauty.
two thumbs up for this!:)
I understand women. I've been thinking about writing a book called "Women: For Men" lol. I'm not about to explain eevveerryything here, but if you have a question, ask away!
I think that understanding anyone is a matter of actually listening to them. No one can understand anyone else, unless they take the time to hear that persons story, to read into the potential, the abilities, the intelligence. You can not even begin to know or understand how any one person thinks without trying to understand their situation, their experiences. So when you ask me if i can understand women, i believe i can, i can understand anyone. If they are willing to let me learn, and i am willing to hear. It makes no difference in sex, only willingness.
Anyway i love this post, and your writing.
Jen
I think it's hard for men, because women expect men to KNOW what we want. Thats my problem anyways. I expect my husband to know what I want without actually telling him. Lol. Men aren't mind readers ladies.....it took two years of marriage to find that one out.
The old adage, "You're only as pretty as you feel" is absolutely true and if a woman is convinced by society that she doesn't match the surgically/digitally enhanced version, she may have trouble feeling beautiful.
The best thing about growing old, for a woman, is finally coming to terms with her own imperfect version of beauty. Fifty years is just about long enough to begin to understand yourself enough to understand and love others.
Does life in a wheelchair enable you to set aside your own concerns with physical imperfections and ponder the aspects of inner beauty of others?
Stop Ricky, you're giving me a hard on. =p
I think there is an element of mystery to women...but it exists for men as well. Part of the thrill of meeting someone new is figuring out what their hopes, dreams, quirks, pet peeves, etc. are. I don't think most of us are that complicated. If you don't know, just ask! Cute post.
This post is beautiful. It's not hard to understand a woman, no harder than it is for a woman to understand a man. It just takes time and a willingness to want to understand that person. It's all about communication and the ability to listen to each other.
A woman just wants to love and be loved in return, as well as being accepted for who she is, flaws and all. No one is perfect.
yes men will find it impossible to understand women because it takes a heart to know another and men, sadly, do not have a heart. or conscience, for that matter.
haha most of those quotes are spoke from experience not from fact...
Hmm....
Nothing is impossible... there are just simply things that haven't been tried yet. Like you attempting to understand me for example. I am not a computer, blog, tweet, picture, song, book, or even the person you hear on the other line... I am found when we talk face to face. I am understood when a moment of letting down walls and open conversation flows from the heart like a wellspring... but only done so when there is a look of mutual trust within a persons eyes. That's how it is for me at least. Until then, I am just a computer, a blog, tweet, picture, song, book, and the person you may hear on the other line
I would like to be understood... someday
I don't know about other women, but I think I'm pretty easy and open to understand. I think this is a societal concept that has no true origin.
Wonderful post!
Women are frequently non-rational, which is what makes them hard for us to understand.
just an old wives tale hahahaha. or like, if we're in a bad mood, it MUST be the hormones, certainly not because HE fucked up!
@Ambrosius_Augustus_Rex - SEXIST!
@jocadychoi - but that is equally sexist!
Great post. I don't understand why women are so hard to understand. It's silly.
Understanding anyone can be hard. Heck, I don't understand myself.
It's impossible to ever completely understand ANYONE because no matter what you will never be 100% positive on what goes on in their minds.
Good post though
I think most women try to be more complicated than they really are.
Reading your posts takes the cynic right out of me.
nothing is impossible to a willing heart (and the patience too!)
I understand women, I just think their philosophy is stupid.
I say this as though I'm not a female, haha. But I don't really care what I look like (well I care but I do not want to look like a model- I am far too lazy) and I don't think I act very much like a girl.
@Callisto23314 - "The nice thing about my chosen field (sex
I never got it though. Thank you!
therapy) is that a lot of women make situations more complicated as a
way of being able to define and grab hold of something tangible in
themselves and their relationships. They need something they can
explain and have some sway one way or the other." REALLY? That's why?! That's what bothers me about girls. Because most of the time they make sense but then go and do something unnecessarily dramatic and I get confused. Though I'm sure I do the same thing.
You're right though, it's not impossible to understand women. We're all different but rarely is it impossible.
Though I personally think guys make a lot more sense.
As I have said before, understanding an entire gender is impossible because each gender is made up of individual people. So understanding women doesn't work. What I like and what my sister or friend likes are two different things.
And in a romantic relationship, people should seek to understand each other and figure out what makes them tick. But a little mystery keeps things interesting. It's not necessarily a mask, just the idea that there is, and always will be, more to discover about the other person. And that's part of what makes a relationship exciting.
very lovely post, indeed.
nothing is impossible.
Understanding women isn't hard, hell ... sometimes understanding a man can be confusing!
understanding women? easy peasy lemon squeezy. understanding men? HA! ...buts probably just as easy lol.
We cant be understood because we are illogical, emotional creatures who dont understand how things REALLY work. Thats what I hear from my SO during arguments anyways.
Its not only the images of beauty we are expected to achieve that hold us back. It is the discounting of women who are insanely intelligent because they aren't cute. Perfect example: Sarah Palin is a nitwit whose most incredible talent is reciting talking points and winking and shes hailed by some (luckily very few) as the next great female politician. Hilary is smart, ambitious, and can hold her own against any man in politics but no one really pays attention to her because she down plays her looks in pant suits and muted hair/makeup. The crux of this is, Sec. Clinton does it so she WILL be taken seriously, and not seen as some pretty political pawn, and yet Sarah is the one we "ohhh" and "ahhh" over.
More mysteries we have to keep that men can shout to the world: number of sexual partners; number of educational degrees; how much money we make; how often we masturbate and the fact that we do; our pant size/weight...
I hate the fact that society makes me wish I were a man.
It's impossible, I don't have a woman's brain.(joking but only kind of)
Honestly, I've read lots of things about the bombardment of media images of women and while it's definitely true that less than beautiful women are treated in ways that range from disdain to bemusment in popular culture. I also don't think that woman as a whole necessarily view themselves differently than they did say 200 years ago. While there may be more positive treatment of ugly men, it's also true that men in say GQ don't resemble most men physically yet I've never heard a man complain about the unrealistic images of men in the media. Also, many of the Judeo-Christian scriptures talk about the temptation of vainity and the danger of equating worth with physical appearance in particular the proverbs and that was before there was any basically any media.
http://sayingimages.com/womens-english-vs-mens-english/
It's true - women are not difficult to understand, you just have to be willing to listen.
"The need that women feel to remain a mystery is ridiculous. It’s a lie because they’re just as human and individual as men. They want what we want, except express it in different ways. Men and women have different roles, but the blood that flows within our hearts is the same."
I like this. Although I have to admit, because women are typically more relational than men are, women can be quite manipulative, which is why it often seems impossible to understand them. But if a woman is confident in herself and who she is, I don't see the need for this deception. Sure, mystery brings enticement and interest, but it also brings dishonesty and confusion.
Don't give women too much credit though, because as much as a man can try to understand a woman, it can only happen if the woman lets him understand her. If a woman wants to remain mysterious, as many do, then it will be quite impossible to understand her, which is where this misconception begins. Not only that, it is also our job as women to love the man as well, understand him, and be his best friend in this journey of discovering ourselves. It's not only about receiving, but also giving. It's all about equilibrium
you make a nice point about Make up as a mask. Islamic women keep themselves mysterious by wearing Burka's. Western Women keep themselves mysterious by using makeup, hair dye, lipo, cosmetic surgery, padded bra's, Lasik, and an array of other items.
My husband joked once that women just outright lie when they use products to change their outward appearence to where they are unrecognizable without it.
and i know this has nothing to do with your post but I'd rather wear a burka than makeup.
@And_I_love - If I've gotten that way it's only because of the experiences I've had. I may not think much of female thought process but I have always treated my girlfriends with a high level of consideration. I always asked them what they wanted to do, included them in whatever I was doing, tried to give them what they wanted, never offered them violence, cursed at them, cheated on them, etc., but none of them showed me the same level of consideration. But putting them aside and just generalizing about the female gender as a whole, most of you think in a non-rational way. Women think with their emotions, and that's why (for example) so many of them end up being the victims of one night stands. Also why women all drink up romance novels, reality TV, and soap operas. Also why women expect men to be able to read their minds and get angry with us when we don't. I've seen that smoldering anger millions of times. Most of them are heavily steeped in emotions and want to have a vicarious emotional experience because... I don't even know why, I can't understand the gross majority of them. All I know is that most women think with their emotions rather than logic, which technically isn't thinking at all.
@Ambrosius_Augustus_Rex - all that is is a lengthy elaboration of how sexist you are.
I'm really happy this is currently on the front page. Your points are absolutely valid, and more men need to read this.
Great post.
I'm a woman and sometimes I don't understand myself all the time
Women are simple creatures, they just like to over-complicate everything.
I know it's possible.
@And_I_love - You can call it what you want, but in the meantime you know that everything I said is absolutely true. Killing the messenger doesn't negate the message.
i think it turned out this way because women are more emotional than men most of the time so they just overthink alot more leading to unexplainable actions
i dont think women find the need to remain mysterious, but even if they did find this need, u can't blame them because we all know if a woman just throws herself out there for all the world to understand, no guy is gonna be interested in her for long
nice post
@And_I_love - hahaha i'm just drawing a conclusion from the stats. maybe i should rephrase - men simply lack the wisdom to make sound choices. perhaps it's just the way their brain are wired.
@shaunachiang - just like the dude who was generealizing about the women (and I called him sexist) well, and he only expounded on his sexist views. I have to say you're doing the same thing, in reverse, sexism two sides of the same coin, or so it seems to me.
I just don't think we're all that different by gender. I guess I know way too many individuals who totally buck the generalizations just by being themselves. I know all kinds of sensitive men, they are not all the stereotypical joe the plumber or mister unemotional. I know plenty of men who hold all the psychological traits thought to be womenly, and vice versa.
But I've lived quite a bit longer than most of the people here, so I've known a lot more people than most here on xanga. I hope you meet some of these kinds of men, men who are TOTALLY "wise enough to make sound choices."
@Ambrosius_Augustus_Rex - I know no such thing. I don't even remember what I read of what you said, that is how useless I thought it was.
my boyfriend knows me better than i know myself
The secret to a relationship is....find somone you like and try to be nice to them the rest of your life.
I don't think people even understand themselves...
I have a very clear understanding of the women I know. Granted, most of the women I know are family and they make it unmistakably clear what they want to say. They are all very strong women. They won't be oppressed. I find it difficult to understand women who will let themselves be oppressed or held back; women who will take abuse at the hands of others and who will be "a rug" for men to trod upon. I celebrate women. History has shown over and over that women can be strong, as much or more so than men. Still, I've known women who were difficult to get to know. Usually they were meek and timid girls who couldn't even understand themselves.
a good one,for men,understanding a woman,never been a easy job and the
same principal is applied to women....and i totally agree with the
phrase "men and women have different roles,but the blood that flows
within our heart is the same."...i think both the "species" somehow
require the same need in life,it might be different in certain
ways,roles.......=)
Women can be understood alot more than we thnk they can be.
I'd say you somewhat have to understand women. Speaking from experience, you have to know how to act around them. Within a year I learned girls don't like it when you take a pic of them sleeping, they don't like it when you squirt them with water guns and another thing which I'm too embarrassed to admit I didn't know about girls until 6 months ago.
But at least the girls were okay about it and didn't slap me or anything. I'm still learning how to control my tongue and not act immature and joke about guy stuff around girls.
Lovely post as ever, Wicky
I think it's not feasible to ask if you can understand women because no two women are the same, just like no two men are the same, just like no to people period are the same. Sure, we may want some of the same things, but we're still all different. I think it's more feasible to understand each woman for who she is as an individual with her own wishes and desires and dreams, not as a member of her gender.
i think women cannot be understood, not from a general statement point of view, but from a guy's point of view... not because women are impossible to understand, but because most men would not have the capacity and will power to make an effort to understand them... generally speaking..
Nice Ricky.
ok I think this is super sweet but I don't even understand myself . Half the time I do and say things and ask myself after now why the f*** did I just do that
Uh .... this is when "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book comes in handy.
(that's what I'm currently reading)
I mostly don't understand men either. I mean, I'm talking about someone in particular because that's who I most have to deal with. I don't understand men (boys in this case) and their addiction to games. I don't understand why men can't open up their feelings when we can always share. I don't understand why men find it difficult to admit their faults and apologize. At least, my man does. I think it's the nature what makes us "being mysterious" to each other. For me in particular, I did things and said things which was hard to understand, and I don't understand why I did it either. For example, even though I wanted a person to stay, I would just say .. 'go away' instead, hoping he would not obey me and stay. See? Why couldn't just say what I wanted? I guess I just followed my feminine instincts.
@silasbarker - So very true
it's not impossible to understand women. the reason that we go to such lengths to be 'beautiful' is that we want men to love us. men cannot love something that is ugly, they are visual creatures there is no denying it. and that's not a bad thing! in the animal world if an animal seems 'ugly' to one of it's own species there is often a problem with that animal. ugliness for centuries has been used to determine whether someone is healthy or not. i think that women can be understood, however beauty is sorta essential luckily men have different definitions of beauty. but yes i agree that men could try a little harder. just think about this all the men out there, how would you feel if in order for people to like you, you have to put on makeup everyday, always be on a diet, and smile even when you are dying inside?
Yes I do because I am a woman and I understand others.
I wish more single men were like you.
this is too much to think about. my brain's going to explode.
Good post indeed. It's not so much that I don't understand women but more that they don't make any sense to me much of the time. But then again, people in general tend to confuse me often as well.
AAwww... wish u could tell it to my husband.
propz
" The art of loving a woman is to encourage her to take her mask off and reveal the true beauty of her heart. "
LIKE THIS!
it's not impossible to understand a woman.because to the beloved one, some women already did take off their mask.
@jwfarns - I have to agree and to disagree with you , sometimes she wants the love and the respect of her man , but sometimes she also wants the MONEY OF HIS MAN !
And here I was to believe that the greatest lie women can conjure is to fake an orgasm. Do I stand corrected?
@Jacques_Duclo - To which I have a question. Would a guy be more upset if a girl faked it, or if she didn't bother to cover up the fact that she didn't get one? Just curious lol.
I personally don't like the "say one thing, but it really doesn't summarize what you mean." Of course a guy will be confused by a girl who doesn't know how to say how she feels, and what she really thinks of something. It's like my friend saying "I don't care" when she really means "I don't want you to". Or saying "nevermind" in the middle of an arguement. I don't think women in general are anymore confusing than men, but some don't communicate well with men.
@Neon_Eyeliner77 - Although I can not rightly speak for all males, my preference is that a lady is honest with not being satisfied. Then with proper communication, she and her lover my be ale to salvage a potential orgasm.
@Yoliah - yeah, well, there is THAT kind of woman....... :/ But if that is the case, it will still be pretty obvious what she wants.
Women are easy to understand. it's the b***hes I don't get.
people who feel the need to hide/pretend/act mysterious are insecure and swayed by society. we all have it in certain degrees. its sad.
i think everyone has their walls and demons and internal contradictions and a way of portraying them selves which makes them hard to understand. you can never understand someone unless you try AND you also let them in and let them understand you. they have to trust you and want to show the real them.
i think the main thing women have that makes them appear hard to understand is they are in general very emotional( we are designed this way) especially at certain times of the month. heck i cant even understand myself sometimes!
i find women harder to understand than men, especially because of the way society has pushed women to portray themselves. it hides the real them and makes them seem bitchy etc. men have that as well but i dont see it as much except in guys acting 'tough' and 'bad' to get attention.
love this post ricky
This is a pretty good post, and it makes good points.
I don't think it's impossible... But, It'd be INCREDIBLY hard to.
I don't even understand myself half the time.
I am a woman and I do not understand women. I have never really fit in with them and @Callisto23314 up there gives a good explanation why. I think it is deceptive to not explain to a man what is wrong. I think it is petty to be able to be consoled with jewelry, if not manipulative. And manipulation is a trait I abhor, and have seen it a lot in women. From crying to withholding sex, to feigning anger. It is just wrong. And immature. And unnecessary. If a woman wants to be treated as an equal, she needs to quit acting like the Queen of the world and be honest about things.
I have a friend who would constantly take her husbands paycheck and spend it on everything but the bills. Without even talking with him about it first. If he said anything she acted as if he were in the wrong. I know another woman who had to be the center of all attention at all times. If not she would cry, or tell tall tales to stir things up a bit. I knew another woman who had to be in charge of everything at all times. If anyone had a different idea, too bad. Woman like that are better left to themselves. Why even bother trying to figure such selfish creatures out?
To me, I don't think it's hard understanding women. [Of course, I could just be talking about me.]
For me, being the way I am, all I want from a guy is to make me feel like I'm beautiful on the inside and out, something I already know about myself. It's one thing for me to say to myself, "You are beautiful." However, everyone needs that little compliment. [And not in the form of, "Hey sexy babe! You are looking sweet to me." That just shows me what you want, and how much you actually care about me. =/ I've had something along those lines happen three times to me this summer. X_X!]
@jwfarns - ahead of DND. thats right.
agree with everything u said
I love your post.
But the same thing can also apply for men. Understanding men also takes time and patience. Especially, because every man/woman is unique, we have to remember to see them as an individual and not generalize them. Only then, we can continue, with our open minds, to understand them.
Wow I like this post best
You're a very sweet man ricky, I think women can be understood through smiles. I think if you can find what makes a women smile step one is taken care of. Step two is to understand what makes her tick her life and so on and step three is to show her something she's never seen in another person and this reflects her beauty. I believe through these things a women can be comprehended
i say it depends on the girl/woman i think im easy to figure out but i have know some girls that i myself don't get
yes yes yes. this is awesome. i wish i knew more guys and just people in general who would take the time to understand me instead of passing it off as 'she's a woman, that's how she is.'
I think most people fail to realize that men and women both feel the same. It always just depends on the person though. Some women want to be respected and trusted, while others want to be taken care of and have everything done for them. Men are the same way, you just need to get right person to bring out the full feelings of the person at hand. Different personalities bring out different qualities.
And with the comments above, it's not just about why men can't understand women, women can't understand women or men, men can't understand men. Both sexes claim to have some sort of code, but there's always different feelings toward these supposed laws.
No one really understands anyone until they get to know them pretty well, and even in that case, an argument will always spark a "you'll never understand" comment because people don't say what they want to. It's simply just a defense mechanism.
Replace "women" with "black people."
See how stupid this bullshit is?
Don't bother. You know the book, "311 things a guy does wrong" or something to that effect? A bunch of women got together to decide on a universal standard for what they see in men, and they screwed that up.
It's our fault for letting them out of the kitchen.
It's quite refreshing to read something that delves deeply into this topic with such sensitivity and insight coming from a male, and not yet another one of us frustrated women who can't help but get defensive against the "women aren't understandable" mentality. We are different than men generally speaking, but we all have hearts and souls and minds when it come down to it. Each gender reflects different aspects of God's image and nature more than the other, but the fact is we're all wonderfully complex. in fact, when it come to emotions I suspect many males may be more complex than many women and more than they realize because of being so used to repressing them. Our differences depend a lot on us as individuals, but even the more general typical differences should remind us that putting effort into cracking through someone's mask or facade, male or female, makeup or cocky tough-guy-ness or what have you, is a 2 way street and it's not always easy for either gender to "get" the other. But it's very rewarding when with God's help we get to really know those He leads us to and we are able to show His tender yet strong love to another through us, and also to receive it when it's given to us.
You got it.
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