April 13, 2009

• About A Ridiculous Little Boy

  

  He was always the ridiculous little boy who didn’t have a care in the world for the complexities of life.  All he ever wanted was to be a nuisance, and bad influence to the young.  Despite his annoyances, he was loved and cared for by everyone.  He existed in a place of fairytales come true, where sadness was unfound.

  But little did he know that things would change as he continued his ridiculous ways.  He never thought he’d exist anywhere else except in his dreamland of childhood.  He never understood why tasks that were seemingly easy for other kids were almost impossible for him.  As the sound of laughter consumed his surroundings, he could only follow through with the humour.  It was his way of dealing with challenges that would test him for years to come.

  At the back of his mind, he acknowledged the truth, but hadn’t taken the time to ask.  The answers would have made no difference.  He had to endure.

  While they continued to test him as the burdens grew to weigh upon his shoulders, he couldn’t help but ask, why me?  Why can’t I run and play like everyone else?

  There was always a voice that lingered within his mind.  She encouraged and held him close no matter the tears that fell.  She was the reminder that he could take it, for he had no other choice.  She kept him going, regardless of what the future would hold.  He lived for her alone.

  Grade three would knock on the door, but he was already prepared to face his nemesis.  He couldn’t allow weakness to bring him down.  He thought it was his final obstacle to overcome as he believed in his heart that things would get easier.  His struggles were a testament that hope outweighs fear.

  He went on to pretend like nothing was wrong.  He was determined to find his way to the playground.  He could only walk a few metres without support, succumbing to his weakness every time.

  When exhaustion got the best of him, he retreated to the school walls for sanctuary.  His teacher would offer assistance, but he wasn’t one to ask for help.  He had to overcome, however much it took.  The searing hot bricks burned his little hands as they slowly led him inside.  He ended up with bloody knees every time he arrived home.  He never cried once.

  As the weakness progressed, his ability to feed himself was taken away.  When it would take fifteen minutes, it took half an hour, only to become a full hour.  The clock continued ticking as his food became colder.  It soon took more than two hours to finish his meals.  Using every ounce of strength just to bring the spoon to his mouth, he realized there was no dignity.  He eventually shut the door so nobody could see the useless mess he had become.

  He inevitably lost the strength in his hands entirely.  It was then that he realized his dreams were shattering before his eyes.  It’s over, he thought to himself.

  But little did he know that his struggles were only beginning.  He realized that the voice who kept him going was fading in his despair.  She disappeared and all his broken dreams and hardships that took away his dignity didn’t matter anymore.  He lost his reason, while all he wanted was to find her, and hold on forever.  The little boy inside needed her more than she knew, but how could he find someone who didn’t exist?

  His journey of romance had finally begun.

  Ridiculous, isn’t it, how he assumed anyone would ever love him except the silent whispers within his lonely mind.  Ridiculous, isn’t it, how he assumed he’d have a chance of not being alone anymore.

  What he didn’t know was that it was merely a journey of finding himself.  He existed in a place of fairytales that would never, ever come true.

  There there, little boy.  There there.  There, there…

  Reader, do you have a voice from within?  What does she say to you?

  • 12:00 am
  • 72 Comments