October 12, 2010

  • Xanga Girls Are Hot, Because…

    Now did you really think DearRicky would leave without making a proper goodbye?  Get ready for a final barf-fest! ;)

    Heartfelt Xanga girl-to-girl back and forth comments make me cry.  I want to be a part of them, even when I’m not a spaz and I can’t type as fast, only messing up the order of the blog-versation.  I continue blogging for ways to overcome the boundaries of gender, but continue to make everyone throw up, including myself!

    Xanga girls make me feel as if I’m falling off my chair in ROFL (rolling on the floor in love) because of their hotness, without getting my clothes dirty because I have wheels.  It might cause them to levanna in anger for the sake of modesty when calling them angels, but their inability to acknowledge their angelic nature is proof that they in fact are.

    How could anyone not want to join in on their little Pulses when the hilarity of their jokes and sensitivity of their secret messages is perfect?  It makes me want to be a lesbian.

    And Xanga lesbians are hot because when in flirt, they make you feel as if it’s possible to seduce them into changing teams.  When you take the time and effort to discover and rediscover her, you’ll understand that maybe, just maybe, you’re a lesbian at heart.  They love your drama when they know you’re also a queen!

    Yet in the same light, flirtatious Xanga girls are hot because it’s a thrill to try and figure out their intentions.  Eye problems will occur from using winking emoticons too much, but the development of an inside joke about the adorable nature of Greek tampons is well worth the psychotic twitching.  In the end, you might even write about your daydreams for the goddess that she is, with her no less.

    Although, grammarless Xanga girls are hot because they “cares” about DearRicky very much.  She might be a right-winged conservative meanie, but when you write something sad and personal about yourself, she’ll cower away like a little kitty and you’ll understand how sweet she is.  Her beautiful smile will make you want to trun her paige, time and time again.

    But Xanga girls who write well are just as hot because the elegance in their words inspires you to want to be a better blogger.  Even more, you’ll always be waiting for her under the moonlight, especially when the glow might shine upon the gentle curves of her infamous boob crack.

    You’ll soon realize that controversial Xanga girls who hate butt-bangers and carpet-munchers are hot when you understand the truth of their hearts.  She feels threatened at the thought of losing her dominion over womanhood to the queers and hides behind pictures of Megan Fox clones, except, she doesn’t realize the fact that she’s already all woman.  All you want is to upgrade her palace into a kingdom.

    On the other end of the spectrum, Xanga sex goddesses are hot when they give winky-winky advice in risqué situations like the one involving her mother’s reputation.  She gets hotter when you debate with her about conservative uppy-uppy-down-down and make her upset, but you still want her to serena your dante, even though you might be afraid she’ll come out of the computer screen and cut it off.  When you become her friend, you’ll understand her hotness in discovering her real name is the most exotic one of all since it’s impossible to pronounce.

    But religious Xanga girls are super hot because their virtuous nature makes you understand what it means to love your church and that post-marital love making is the only way to go.  You’ll want to marry her just to make breakfast in bed and scramble her megs on toast.

    This is why Xanga chef girls are deliciously hot when they continually make hot dishes and tempt you with pictures that’ll rock your socks.  You might not be a fan of sweets, but Xanga cake girls are hot because for one, Joanna said so, and secondly, her confectionery pictures will give you a sugar high.  Her sweetness shines through even more when you anti-flirt with her on Facebook while she pretends to be your cousin and scares every one of your real-life friends and family!

    Then again, scary lunatic Xanga girls are hot because while you’re worlds apart in ridiculousness, they’re really your best friends.  You’ll always have a hoot when you preach to her against fornication.  You know she’s crazy when she spends six hours just to write a rare entry in honour of you without a single word of hate.  She might even be the coolest older girl here.

    Of course, Xanga MILFs are hot because librarian hot is ultra hot.  Yet, it’s even sexier when you realize she was a “libertarian” all along, making your face shamelessly red.  They make me want to rapidly fan my mouth like a groundhog that just ate a lettuce leaf sprayed with a cayenne pepper solution, especially the one who has a mutual enemy.  She’ll tell you secrets because it’s what she knows, about the Popular_Pervert who sent pictures of his cocktail wiener to various women back in early 2009.

    Such perverted antics confirm my need to protect the females with the sword of my word, despite starting the greatest racial war known to Xangankind.  Oppressed Xanga girls are hot, especially one particular shark lover nerd on wheels.  When she gets attacked by online supremacists, you’ll eternally implode with wrath, to the EXTREME!!!1111111

    Unfortunately, when defending the innocent, nasty entries of multitude will emerge, but Xanga hater girls are hot, and the one who used to be your biggest fan is no exception.  While her anger is kindled against you, she’s still a sensitive soul with a soft heart who only put her fury in the wrong place.  Only the haloed would think one has the power to “destroy” her friends.  When she gets upset, your only wish is to comply with her demands of sticking a cactus up your butt and linger in her world of pink teacups.

    Xanga bimbos are hot because while their words are harsh, when you understand the dumb-dumb frustrations in their thoughts, you’ll find their cute interior looking deep inside shouting for a returning echo.  You’ll want to continue protecting her from that potential rapist who likes to ask his female victims to fill out a form with their personal information.

    Thankfully, there’ll always be a remnant, and Xanga fan girls are hot because they’ll remain by your side when the entire community turns on you, just because you’re different.  Sooner or later, you’ll understand that she shimmers, even without body cream when she’s your trouble-making counterpart on the Ish sites.  It’s the same reason Xanga stalker girls are hot because she’s in actuality a magic goddess of… vaginal lips?!

    Strange things might happen when you look up user name meanings on Wikipedia, but weird Xanga girls are hot, especially Zombie moms who speak.  Even hotter is when you’re on the same wavelength in thinking like a genius and when you realize she’s your biggest fan of all.  You’ll have no hesitation in letting her rip at the flesh of your heart.

    Xanga sluts are hot because while they yearn for attention by taking off their clothes, their modesty shines through from failing to see their own beauty.  All you want is to XOXO her inner bosoms.  Of course, Xanga recommend whores are hot because even when they mindlessly suggest for people to read your blogs, the way she clicks on your hearts will make her the queen of you.

    Xanga newbie girls are hot, especially the psychos from down under, because they don’t know you’re the supposed drama queen here.  The countdown towards her deletion of you is a guessing game of ecstasy.

    And Xanga girls who delete DearRicky are hot because when you get to know them on Facebook & they reveal what’s behind their mask of anonymity, ya’ll find the most sarcastic Southern Belle who has the ability to cross from one state to another, at will!  She’s the one who swallows her vomit while reading your barf bag romances!

    More importantly, Xanga girls who aren’t hot are hot because…

    ALL XANGA GIRLS ARE HOT!!!

    BYE EVERYONE! (: (: (:

    Remember to add me on Facebook:
    http://www.facebook.com/DearRicky

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